Just a Random Thought
by maritinkerbell
Summary: Suze POV. really short. totally random.
1. Just a Random Thought

Setting: Between Haunted and Twilight.

**Just a Random Thought**

_God_. Why does Jesse have to be so frikkin' _hot_? Why can't he be all ugly and disgusting and obnoxious like the rest of his gender? Why can't he be, like, Dopey?

Yeah. Dopey should be the ghost haunting my bedroom…and Jesse could live down the hall. Then I would still see him all the time, but he wouldn't be—well, dead. And he wouldn't have been born in the nineteenth century, so he wouldn't be all crazy-proper. We could _finally_ have a normal relationship. We could go to the movies, or out to dinner, or to those crappy school dances that Kelly insists on having every semester. No one would think I was some loony tunes chick pretending to have a date, because they would actually be able to _see_ Jesse.

What a second. If Jesse were Dopey, then that would make him my stepbrother. I can't date my stepbrother. Eeeww. That would be totally disgusting. Man, I will never have a normal love life. Even my fantasies always get ruined.


	2. Further Ramblings on the State of my Lov

**A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews! **

**This "chapter" doesn't really have anything to do with the last one, except that they're both really random and the product of a twisted mind. **

Setting: Between Haunted and Twilight

**Further Ramblings on the State of my Love Life**

Ghosts can bleed. I have always found this a little strange. I mean, they're dead right? So the have no actual matter. So they shouldn't be able to bleed. Follow my logic?

But ghosts can bleed. Of course, the only people who can see or feel it are us mediators, but still. They bleed.  
Which leads to a rather interesting question: Can ghosts procreate? I mean, if Jesse and I were to, um, engage in sexual activities (to quote that idiotic pamphlet I got in the mail) would we have to use birth control? Would birth control even work? And if I did have a baby, would it be visible to normal people?

See? This is why a relationship between Jesse and me can never work. There are way too many hitches. And I have no one to talk to about this stuff. Seriously. I mean, am I supposed to just walk up to Father D and be all like "Yo, Father Dom. Jesse and I are thinking about having premarital sex; do we need a rubber?" That would be a fun conversation. Not. The guy's a freakin'_ priest,_ for God's sake (no pun intended). He would sooo not approve.

Then again, neither would Jesse. I don't even know why I'm even thinking about stuff like this, because my sexually challenged boyfriend would never get me pregnant unless we were married, which, given the fact that he is dead, is not likely to happed anytime soon.

I should probably give him a break. I mean, when he was a kid, the Talk consisted of something like: "No sex until you're married." "What's sex, Dad?" "Never mind. You'll find out when you're married."

Okay, this train of thought has gotten totally weird. I'm going to go take a shower.

**A/n: Yeah, I know what you're thinking: "Where the hell did you get that, you sick minded freak?"**

**Believe me, I'm as much in the dark about that as you are.**

**Imagine Regina from _Mean Girls_: "Review, bitches."**


	3. Aaaaaargghhh

**Aaaaaargghhh**

I hate cold sores. I've been getting them all the time since I was little. Way more than normal people do.

Mom told me they would stop by the time I was twelve. I'm seventeen, mom, and they haven't gone away.

And don't tell me it'll be gone by the time I wake up tomorrow. Cold sores never go away that fast. They stay on my face, plaguing me, for days. And then, after they heal, there's the scar which lasts about a month longer. I ask you, what did I ever do to deserve this?

At least Jesse can't catch them from me. That's the one good thing about having a boyfriend who's dead. Even when I have cold sores, we can still make out.

**SEX**

**Sorry, that was just to get your attention. Now go review.**

**P.S. I'm doing a tagteam w/ JESSiENESS. It will probably be posted in the next few days. Check her profile.**


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